Month: July 2013
Remember When
Recently, a dear friend of mine sent me an email of questions for me to answer. She wants to know me better. She is a very intentional kind of person, and I like that. I read the questions, took a deep breath and realized that some of these were very thought-provoking questions that would be fun to blog about. I’m always looking for writing material. I will address them in no particular order.
Question: What is your best memory with Michael?
I thought about that long and hard. It’s not that I lack any good memories with my husband. We’ve been married for almost 19 years so, of course, I have plenty – some so funny and embarrassing that we both will take them with us to our grave. In chronological order, to the best of my ability, I remembered the proposal, the wedding, the birth of our children, the many moves, the vacations, the movies, the parties and birthdays. But it was one particular scene that played over and over in my head. I remembered it like it was just a few years ago when, in fact, it happened repeatedly the first year in our marriage.
Michael worked as a Harlingen fire fighter. He worked 24 on/48 off. On his days off, he interned at the church we attended. I was a bank teller at Harlingen National Bank. Like most couples, we came home, ate dinner, watched TV, visited with friends or did some light cleaning and then went to bed knowing tomorrow it started all over again. We laid in bed, face-to-face, eyes locked, with hands tucked under cheek or pillows and talked. We talked about the day’s events. We talked about our future. We talked about our past. We told jokes, recited song lyrics and movie quotes and once we even listed all the people we dated before we married. He won.
We talked before there were babies in our bed. We talked before building churches and staff meetings. We talked before late night hospital visits and emergency marriage counseling sessions, and suicide watches. We laid in bed, face-to-face when we were young and still blissfully unaware of what was to come.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. Michael and I still talk. It looks different, but we still talk. We are constantly looking to grow our marriage. In fact, we are co-writing a marriage book together. It’s a book for couples, who like us, have to fight to stay married. It’s about what works for us, our experiences, our failures and our successes.
There are now three kids – two in high school and one in junior high. Will Chloe go away to college next year or should she stay close to home for the first year? “Can you believe she’s a senior now? Time really does fly by fast.” Titus has Michael’s wicked sense of humor. Most nights they gang up on me while I Google witty comebacks for their smart-ass remarks. They really are funny. “How’s Silas doing on his summer reading? Did you see the new trick he can do on the trampoline?”
We talk about upcoming appointments and how to handle certain church matters.
“Can you pass me the remote?”
“Can you take the trash out?”
“I need another stereo, iPhone, computer, bigger TV. I need another pair of white tennis shoes just like the other 15 in my closet.”
“You need a lobotomy!”
“You’re a really fun man! I’m glad I married you.”
“I know.”
We talk. Maybe it was that we were young and still clueless, when life was simpler and less busy. Maybe it was because it was still and quiet and we lay face-to-face with no interruption. Maybe. BUT, I do know this, no maybe about it, I love him more today than I did back then. I know him more now than I ever have. Long conversations in bed, a quick joke passing in the hallway, a meeting of the minds over a bowl of chips and salsa.
That, my friend, is my answer to your question.
Boldly Going Where Few Have Dared To Go
Michael and I have begun writing our book, Ransom Notes, Because We’re All Held Hostage By The Ones We Love. For Michael, it will be his third book. For me, my first. And the fact that I am writing it with my husband only intensifies the experience. We are competitive and already have our own ideas as to how the book is to be formatted, who writes the introduction and what topics we are to address. For the most part we agree, but we have had a few hiccups, . . . and we are just in the beginning stages of writing this book. I will be blogging less, but let’s be honest, I have been inconsistent on this front for over a year now so I am under no illusion that I will be losing readers as I only have but a handful. Although, I’m quite certain that this experience will give me more writing material.
Ransom Notes 